Opt Out

Do you remember the man last year who opted out from the new digital x-ray scan at the airport because he didn't want TSA to see his "junk", only to get irritated when they tried to touch his junk!? Even though we haven't heard much about these scanners and passengers in the news much these days, I have lots of experience. I will tell you that the more intensive pat-down really isn't a major deal. What is really the worst part is when you are approaching the TSA agent. You are watching them randomly choosing people to usher into the spaceship looking capsule and you can't help but wonder, "Am I going to be the lucky one you gets just the metal detector or am I going to have another one of those confrontations?"

I have to back-up just a bit. Let me tell you that ever since airports started introducing these new scanners, I have been Opting-Out. It may not seem like a big deal to the average traveler, but this freqent flier goes through airport security at least 6 times every month. So being a woman, who was trying to get pregnant mind you, was not thrilled about the idea of getting exposed to all that radiation, no matter how low risk the scanners claim to be.

Not all airports have purchased these scanners, including my homebase and favorite airport, PDX....so I haven't had to have that dreaded confrontation with TSA on my regular departures. I can't say the same for the rest of the country. I have had some interesting experiences that I'd like to share with you:

Chicago O'Hare International IL
Me: Excuse me, sir? I'd like to avoid the imaging system. Do I have another option?
TSA agent: Are you opting out?
Me: yes, please.
TSA Agent: (yelling at the top of his lungs over the crowd) WE HAVE AN OPT OUT OVER HERE! FEMALE ASSIST, WE HAVE AN OPT OUT OVER HERE! FEMALE ASSIST, WE HAVE AN OPT OUT!
Me: (mortified and embarassed...why is he making such a scene?!)

George Bush Airport Houston TX
Me: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm pregnant, I'd like to pass on the X-ray scan, if that's ok?
Female TSA Agent: (gets in my face angrily) Ma'am, please step out of line and over here. Let me tell you something. You are NOT allowed to speak to me unless I ask you a question! I am here to do a job for your safety and unless I am specifically talking to you, then you are NOT allowed to approach me...(she continues to carry on with her military power trip)....so lastly, MISS, I am just going to pretend that this here conversation never happened, so I am not forced to to make this anymore difficult than it needs to be. Please step through the metal detector and be on your way.
Me: (WTF?!!...I hate Texas)

Sacramento International Aiport CA
Me: Excuse me, sir? I'm pregnant...I don't think I am allowed to go through that x-ray scanner.
TSA Agent: Of course! Stay right here, let me get somebody to help you. Are you ok with a patdown? Let me get a female officer to assist you.
Me: Sure, thank you.
Female TSA Agent: Hi! My name is (insert whatever name) and I will be doing your screening. So you are pregnant! Are there any sore areas that I should be careful of?
Me: Nope, I am good. Go right ahead.
Female TSA Agent: I have a couple new girls in training, would you mind if I had them come observe? Are you running late or anything?
Me: I don't mind.
Now 3 female TSA Agents: When is your baby due? Congrats! What are you having? is this your first? Can I touch your belly? (more ooo'ing and aw'ing)...other random TSA agents stop by to congratulate me.

Denver International Aiport CO (It's crazy busy and the TSA lady directing the line looks pissed and she scares me).
Me:(Not wanting another Texas encounter) Excuse me, sir...may I ask you a question, please? I am pregnant, how do I tell the TSA woman that I can't go through the digital scanner?
Nice looking TSA Agent: (Leans down and whispers to me) Just between me and you, she's selecting people at random. Don't bring it up unless she picks you. That way you can just do the metal detector instead of the full patdown.
Me: Ok, thanks!
Pissed-off looking female TSA Agent: Ma'am, step this way (into the digital scanner time capsule).
Me: (pointing to my big belly and trying to not to shout, since she is 15 ft away) I'm pregnant..
Female TSA Agent: (interupts before I can finish)...Step over here, please. Let me get a female assist for you, it may be a few minutes, sorry about that.
Me: That's ok! Thank you! (phew)
New female TSA Agent: So when are you due? What are you having? Is this your first? Oh, I think I felt her kick! You have such pretty hair!
Original nice looking TSA Agent: Looks like she picked you, anyway. Sorry about that. We tried, didn't we?! Congrats on your baby!

In summary...there really isn't any way to tell what is going to happen when you opt out.